!!

Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie

2007-10-28T22:30:00.000-05:00

The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how:
The clouds above opened up and let it out
I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean
Making islands where no island should go
Oh, no

Most people were overjoyed; they took to their boats
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door
Have been silenced forevermore
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh, no

I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer

I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer
I need you so much closer

So come on, come on
So come on, come on
So come on, come on
So come on, come on

Sophomore slump or comeback of the year?

2007-10-16T17:53:00.000-05:00

(Yes, I realize that that's a Fall Out Boy song.)

Gossip Girl
I admit, I am a fan of the television series. 'Six souls searching for something to believe in'? Searching for something to believe in is what I'm all about. I was hooked at the promo.

Lately,
I haven't really been
being, haven't really been
doing
much of anything. Haven't really been
trying as hard as I
could if I wanted to,
but I don't want to,
which is the whole problem. I don't have any motivation.

I go to school and I do my work and I come home and do nothing instead of doing my homework,
and when I finally do my homework, it's late late late and I
don't complete it as well as I would like to complete it.
It seems that all I've been doing lately is doing work or avoiding work.

That is why I much prefer Fall Break, and the way that time feels differently.
I don't measure it in 'this many hours until homework' or 'this many hours until I finish homework', and I don't measure it in 'this many hours until school' or 'this many hours until school's out'.
I just do whatever I want whenever I want, and I am completely without stress--well, not completely, but.

I would like to feel this free during the school week, to not be in such a slump,
to learn how to manage my time better and still be happy with the way I spend it.
This is what needs to happen,
this is what I want to happen,
but will it ever happen?

I hope so.

Maybe then I wouldn't be so "I hate life" all of the time.
I've taken a sharp turn in my happy-go-luckyness at the beginning of the year to my is-anything-really-worth-it?ness now.
I'm becoming duller in personality and sharper with my words towards those who matter most.
I am becoming selfish, more only looking out for my self,
everything I am strictly against.

But that will change.
I am one of those souls searching for something to believe in.

Currently,

2007-10-13T19:34:00.000-05:00

Extreme highs, and extreme lows.

2007-10-01T17:34:00.000-05:00

Across the Universe
made my heart melt.
I have decided that I want to marry Joe Anderson.I wish I could find the ending online, because if I could, I'd watch it over and
over again.

Eh
I'm not going to England this summer. Whoever was in charge of the euro trip changed their mind and they're only going to Italy and some other place.
I can't even explain how disappointed I am.
It was all planned out.

Weekends
Weekends. I like them.
I absolutely love spending time with my friends. And going to IHOP.
I've gone to IHOP more times in the last month than I've been in my life, which isn't saying much because I had only been to IHOP a couple of times before... but whatever.
It's especially hilarious going with my family--that is, Shampa and Sana. and Katie. Because Shampa is so
convincing, so we never stop eating. No, it was the most fun I've had in a while.
And then my weekend with my other family:

I love mashed potatoes, the shirt Terah made, color samples, and glowsticks!

Yellow
This morning was terrifying. I woke up and had the sudden urge to look out the window, because I thought it might be raining,
and then I saw my neighbor's house with that yellow tape around it, with police cars around it, etc.
But I was even more worried when I found out what was going on.
I don't know what's going to happen now, but things are not going to be the same at all.

Ascendio and a slight ritardando

2007-09-19T18:12:00.001-05:00

I've hardly had any motivation to post on here. I don't know why. I think I've just detested any form of writing in general for the last week because of journalism. But, when I got around to it, it actually motivated me more to write--anything--as long as it wasn't a news article.

War Paint
After conquering North, Katie, Katie, Kelly, and I went to IHOP. I felt a bit sixteen even though I wasn't yet. But still.

Ascendio
When Saturday came, I had a nice "sweet sixteen". And, again, I felt a bit more sixteen, even though I wasn't yet.

We stood on the speedbumps and when a car came, which was like every second, we'd scream "car!"
And Shampa and Boby and I now live in the shed-houses outside of Lowes. Wandering/adventuring down the street with them was incredible. Especially running half of the way back and not caring one bit how messed up my hair became.

September 16th
The power was out for half of the day and then, when it went back on, I threw a fit when some kid decided to be COMPLETELY disprespectful in the SF forums or whatever on Myspace. It wasn't the best birthday, but my birthweekend was one of the best I've ever had.

Doorways
I swear you do this on purpose. It is getting old, it is.
I do not understand one bit of it. The only sense I can make of it is that you just want to prove that you're better. Or something.
But you're hurting people, and that does not prove that you're better.

September 24th
I was supposed to go! That was going to be the day, I would go, and I would drive myself.
I have been planning it for about three years. But I am stupid
and I'm lazy and I haven't gotten my license much less my permit.
The original plan was to go alone, but I don't think so anymore. However, I don't know who I would want to go with me.

Well actually...
Actually I do, but that's one extremely random person,
whom I barely know. But he's the only person I can think of that would fully understand the nature of the event, I think.
I don't know. I am oddly attracted to him, in an odd way.
I think it's because he reminds me of someone, but that someone who he reminds me of isn't even a person, it's just a thought, just a character I developed in one of my random stories I started in elementary school.

Edit: A few hours later.
I don't know why that made me cry so freaking hard, but I really think I'm starting to like you.
This is terrible.

Know your opinion!

2007-09-13T19:20:00.001-05:00

Freshman
I don't know what it is with some people, but it just seems like, that once you liiiike or are even just interested in someone, they have no faults. Or their faults become lesser, or justified, or cute. I understand this to an extent, of course. Like, the other day, Shampa ran up to me and told me that 'my person' had practically ran her over in the hallway and I responded with 'awww, he's being assertive'. ...
However, I do NOT understand how a completely uncalled for statement made by your 'interest' could be so easily dismissed. Especially when the statement was directed at a person who had so much importance in your life, and another person who supposedly does. "I'm angry with the statement he made; not him" does not WORK in this situation; it DOESN'T.
If I were you, I wouldn't waste my time. He's not even cute anyways, inside or out.

Silenced
We were all looking for somebody's house, and the world ended, and it was dead silent, and then a trio of boys appeared in a jeep, and we all paired up, and we lived alone on the world in some large house, and it was so comforting. Just physical contact in the most innocent sense, leaning against some random, charismatic dream-made boy.

Daily Debates
English is my favorite class.
I think the answer to part of our discussion is a simple quote from the Order of the Phoenix film.
"The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the power we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
- Sirius Black

Snow Cake

I am definitely renting this movie very soon.

The opening weeks of sophomore year

2007-09-09T00:51:00.000-05:00

So after realizing my first three blog posts were more vague bulletin-like than blog-like, I decided to start over. I wanted to add more detail, because, originally, I started a Blogger account to keep track. However, there's no way I'm going to remember everything I want to remember with just words like "rice, bacon, cornbread, friends". I mean, really. I'm still keeping track, but in a better way.

The Happy Field of Food
In World History, we learned that most ancient Egyptians believed that it would be determined in the afterlife that you would either get eaten by some crocodile/alligator or you would live forever in the Happy Field of Food. Such a name. That is brilliant.
Other than that, I really haven't learned much in that class--or at least, anything I found as interesting as The Happy Field of Food. Except, our teacher gave us a sheet of paper with tons of how-do-you-learn tests on it, and, apparently, I'm a kinesthetic learner.
Here's the test I took: http://vark-learn.com/english/page.asp?p=questionnaire
I don't know, I think it fits.

Spelling Tests
I'd really like to be a teacher.

Telephone
We played the game Telephone in English on Friday. Hah. One girl started with a statement and it was passed from person to person until it got to the other side of the room. Well, I won't tell you what the outcome was, because it was an inappropriate phrase that made absolutely not since, but that's not the point. The point is, it started out as something COMPLETELY different and then it got changed as it went.
The result of the game is completely up to the people playing. First, the person passing it on can either say it clearly or mumble it or make up something rather different from what they heard in the first place for laugh. Second, the person listening can choose to listen carefully, listen kind-of carefully, or hear what they want to hear.
The beginning sentence always gets changed.
Therefore, I can not trust real information that has been given to me through a secondary or tercerary source. It's just like telephone. Somewhere in the mix, something was changed. Unless I hear it from the person's mouth, I do not believe it, or I do not believe ALL of it. In this case, I don't know what to believe. But I need to hear it from the PRIMARY source,
but my primary source doesn't know how to properly speak to me.
I'm being vague for a reason. Obviously.

Kate Nash
I'm obsessed with Kate Nash. She's basically my idol.
Her lyrics describe an aspect of my past three weeks wonderfully: Well sometimes I think that you hate me
And other times I think you that you think I'm endearing
Well sometimes I just don't know you at all
Even though I'd like to think I was a bit of a know it all
Sometimes I just can't work you out
Even though I'd like to know what you were about
- from Stitching Leggings by Kate Nash

Spanish
Last year's sixth hour Spanish had a family reunion. Half of the people couldn't come, but Sana, Cody, Sahar, and I went and had a fiesta. We decided which fairies we were in some Disney book and we played with handpuppets in the form of bears and hedgehogs and we asked questions to the Highschool Musical 8-ball. Then, we played some form of hide-and-seek where two people would seek and two people would 'hide', but nobody actually hid, we just ran around the store and stayed away from the seekers. That got us a few funny looks. We finished that, after an hour probably, and sat in the music section in a circle and talked until the lady working there had to ask us to get up so that people could walk down the aisle.
It was fun. I don't know why, but being in Spanish 6th hour formed a bond between everybody in that class; we're a family.
I miss our teachers, too. Haven't seen Soske in forever, but a couple days ago, Sana and Shampa and I went to visit Mr. Nemcok to see if he would sponsor our club we're forming (ha ha), and it was nice. Obviously, he was part of our little family; he was like our dad, or older brother.
Spanish this year is my least favorite class. It just is, and I hate working in groups in there every day. I think that class has made me a non-group-worker.
Perhaps I just had high expectations.

Harry Potter and How J.K. Rowling Increased My Happiness
That club we went to see Mr. Nemcok about? Yeah, Harry Potter club. It's an obsession.
Especially in our English class. No matter WHAT topic we're on, we always come back to Harry Potter.

Example: Mrs. Peters: I will bet my house on it.
*random talk about her house, blah blah blah*
Mrs. Peters: No, actually I live in a tent in my parents' back yard.
*random talk about how much that would suck, blah blah blah*
Brooks: Not if it was one of those tents from Harry Potter!
*AH HARRY POTTER*

We always get on that subject. And our teacher, finally one day, said "You know, this Harry Potter thing, it's kind of like a cult." And then we discussed about how we are MORE than a cult, we are a family, and we support eachother. Ha, it sounds cheesy, but it was a great moment in time.
It comes up every day in everything, not just english. In Psychology, Katie, Michelle, and I classified all of our teachers as Harry Potter professors.
..I'd explain more, but it'd make me sound a lot more obsessive than I already sound.

Painting Pots
I went to Katie Mal.'s house and painted pots and made funnel cakes and watched ten minutes of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Yep.
A couple days before, I was really frustrated with her, for reasons, but then we had this big discussion, and I realized that it was 90% in my head, and I'm just a jealous person and a competitive person. So, we got that all figured out, and I got a good night's sleep, and I woke up, and I felt really peaceful, and I really don't even feel THAT angry anymore.
Sounds ridiculous and unrealistic, right? I know. I don't believe it either. I'm usually a grudge type of person, I hold on to something for a while, but no. There's really no reason for me to in this case. And I hope my new feelings about this situation continue to ..be. Misunderstandings and jealousy and boydrama can die.
PEACE.

School Spirit
Our new principal is my hero. We've classified him as Kingsley Shacklebolt.
He's big on school spirit, and I like that.
At the last assembly, I sat in front of these kids who completely LACKED school spirit. They sat there, yelled inappropriate words during the national anthem, and played their video games the whole time. No, that did not sit well with me, and it made me realize how much I HATE it when people are down on their school. Sure, I say 'I hate Santa Fe' a lot, but I'm PROUD of being a wolf and I wouldn't want to be anything else.
Katie and Mandy and I attended the Santa Fe vs. Memorial game last Friday. Some Memorial kids sat on our side, and we drowned them in school spirit and then won, and they left. HA.
We are wolves.

To Describe the Rest of My Feelings

Hopefully not all of my blogs will be this long, and hopefully not all of my blogs will be as all-over-the-place as this one.